I found myself in a rather boring meeting early this morning and thought to myself: breathing is really hard. I was so bored I almost thought about ceasing respiration and dying just to liven things up. Too bad I wouldn't be around to enjoy it.

There are fruit flies are copulating like fruit flies. In my kitchen. I am going to vomit all over them.

Weird things I have said/believe upon waking up (all have persisted at least 15 minutes after waking up):

- my friends and roommates were all clones. My roommate woke up to me huddled in a corner staring at her and asked what was wrong with me. I told her I wasn't sure if she was a clone or not.
- I was the hospital where I was working. Jon woke me up and I started laughing uncontrollably that I was the hospital and my arm had diabetes. When I was not becoming more lucid Jon pushed me on the floor to stop me. I then cried because "the hospital was upside down."
- There were people in the house trying to kidnap us and take us to a cult.
- A man was trying to break into our house (these dreams usually leave me paralyzed in bed too scared to move for fear it wasn't really a dream)
- I was a river. Or that I left part of my head on the pillow where I was sleeping. These were my explanations for being so confused when I woke up.

Most of these have been since Jon and I have been married. I'm glad he has the patience to sit up with me for an hour or more at night and help me wake up enough to realize it actually was a dream. Or to set up tents downstairs so we can spend the night there to alleviate my fears.

I should also point out that I am glad for fruit.

What is wrong with kids?

Don't get me wrong, I like them (as a general rule) but all the kids in my primary class seem to be taking psychotropic drugs. These kids are far out.

Examples:

We talk for half an hour about responsibility. Mostly how you can be responsible. Simple things like making your bed. And taking care of your cats or dogs. Maybe being nice to your family.

When I asked them to draw a picture of something they are responsible for:
one girl drew a picture of her grandma as a clown (to be fair, she kept repeating that she wasn't sure how to draw her eyes because her grandma wears glasses - the "clown" things might have been a compromise).

This same little girl has also told me that her cat went to:

1. cat heaven
2. cat school (don't worry, dog heaven and dog school exist for dogs as well)
3. "god mountain where I don't want her to get hurt because there are soldiers and I don't want her to fight them"

Another time a little girl said she was sleepy, and then would let her head droop and droop until she stood up and started dancing in the middle of class. I asked her to sit down and she said, "I am dreaming that I'm dancing."

Jon came into class one time to tell the kids its important to listen to your parents because once when he didn't listen to his parents, he sliced his finger. After he left one little girl giggled (think Children of the Corn) and said "your husband needs to stop cutting his fingers."

It's also intriguing to see the interesting words they use. One girl uses "because" ubiquitously instead of other words. Such as, "because my sister turned 8 because she got baptized because it was before Sunday because...."

Coloring and games are quickly becoming the building blocks of our classes. They need something to stop their little synapses from exploding all over the room.