Monday, April 20, 2009

Dear BYU,

Hey, what's up? My name is Allyson Hamacher. Soon it will be Allyson Hubner. I've just been too lazy to get my name officially changed, and honestly my Arizona license doesn't expire until 2051 and I don't want a Utah license. I'm getting off topic, it's just been a while since we've talked and I have so much to say to you.

Like this: I purchased an item from you store nearly 1 year ago. It was expensive, although a deal compared to some other stores. Unfortunately, I have discovered that this item is no good. It does not work, at least not without a part I would need to purchase from another store. Some of them are expensive and I have had little luck finding a moderately price one, or even one that I really like. For all these reasons, I would like to exchange this item for another one. Perhaps one that does not need other parts.

If this letter was unclear, I mean that I'm tired of this Dietetics "degree" that is (right now) a piece of paper that certifies me as having graduated college. I understand that having this "degree" will help me cook (oh yeah, I got married too if that makes you at all sympathetic - I hear you like people doing that) and eat nutritiously. But right now I would prefer a "degree" that would make me feel:

1. less dead in the water
2. like I didn't waste my money
3. smart(er)

I appreciate your time, and look forward to hearing from you

Allyson Elizabeth Hamacher (Hubner)


Amanda said...

Dude, I so agree. Add my name to the end of that.

Brittany said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brittany said...

I have heard people talk about my degree as having gotten me ready to be a "really well trained volunteer"

oh crap

Rachael said...

please don't drown yourself. no dead allysons in waters.