Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Disconnecting from the missing link...

The other day someone asked me if I always had to be the most positive person in the room. And I told her that if she wanted, I could go find some used hypodermic needles and riddle her body with them. Then we could all take an HIV test, and I'm sure she would be the most positive in the room. Ha! AIDS!

Actually, like most other things people say to me I shrugged it off and stewed about it for a while, thinking that the AIDS comment would have been classic. Kind like the one time Cate said her back hurt and I said, "Oh, maybe it's the scoliosis!" and she said, "Do you think so?" And I thought, Cate you are stupid you have to be born with it, but I just said, "You have to be born with it," and she told me she had been...then the room got awkward so I left because who wants to talk about birth defects? Not I, said the girl with 20/5 vision and a back straighter than my orthodontically manipulated teeth.

But back to my point about being positive - I like being positive, but not all the time. Nothing pisses me off like that person who just won't let you have your momentary blue funk. Example:

"I was on the way to the testing center and some Utah driver veered onto the sidewalk and ran me over. This put me in a coma for two weeks, and when I woke up I had permanent brain damage. I can't move the left side of my body, and have lost the sensitivity in the tips of my fingers. My family was plummeted into such grief by what they thought was my imminent death that they fled the country to parts unknown."

"At least your hair looks great!"

I look great all the time, that's no consolation. That's like telling Iraq, "You're being invaded by another country who is tearing up your country, your political system is unstable at best...but at least it's a dry heat."


cate said...

Thanks a lot Allyson. Before this post I never thought of my scoliosis as a birth defect. My mom always told me it made me special and unique.

Andrew said...

Speaking of being HIV+, "When life gives you AIDS, make lemonade."

Think about it, it is funny and true.