Saturday, October 27, 2007

Criminal Mastermind

Do you frequently find yourself thinking - it would be so easy to rob a bank, or steal this car that someone left running in their driveway, or the child playing outside, or any number of other less-than-legal activities.

When I was walking to school the other day, I saw a girl walking with three boxes of Krispie Kreme (are they both with k's?). So she has three boxes in her arms, her backpack, and it's early in the morning so there is no one around (as I type this, I'm starting to realize that I'm targeting the same people a rapist might - things in arms, no one around, carrying delicious fluffy pastries). I saw the donuts and lusted after them - I had no breakfast to satiate my animal appetite.

I thought to myself how easy it would be to steal a tasty pastry - she has boxes in her arms so she couldn't use her arms to defend herself, and if she tried to kick me her backpack would probably tip her over, giving me time to make my escape. I could even flip the lid of the box up in the perfect way so that she wouldn't be able to identify me in the line up.

So the answer is yes, I am a criminal mastermind. One who has never stolen a donut, or a child, or a car. Know that this world is a safer place because I am curbing my criminal tendencies, and that I still want that donut.


Amy said...

I have the very same donuts in my office as I'm typing this. You're welcome to be a pastry criminal at this time.

kaitlyn.e said...

allyson, i think we should be friends. i want to steal donuts all the time! i also want to make donuts sometimes. would you like to make donuts with me?

erin said...

I'm so glad to know I'm not the only person who treats every bank visit as a steak out. Wait... not steak out... scope out? You tell me, mastermind.